Thursday, July 18, 2013
Mediocrity and Tender Mercies-Letter of July 18, 2013
From: Joseph Weiss <email@example.com>
Date: July 18, 2013 8:02:28 AM MDT
To: Cyndy Weiss <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Thank you family for all the letters and packages! Mom made me this scrapbook of pictures of all the family and Deb sent me the most thoughtful package I've ever received in my life! It was like Christmas day! She got me two high class ties from Florence, Italy and a Wimbledon tennis ball keychain! Absolutely made my day! It was an amazing example of gift giving. It was so dad gum thoughful I couldn't believe it! Probably the highlight of my week.
This week I've felt so perfectly mediocre. I absolutely hate it. My heart wants to a representative of Jesus Christ but the rest of me can't figure it out. I feel like I've plateaued at the MTC and I hate it. I know if I plateau here I'm gonna have the same problem in the field. I feel like a stumbly two year old trying to learn how to walk. For me in tennis I would always try to find something to focus on that would keep me from beating myself. Once I found something that got me so outside my myself I was playing out of my mind. But the next time I went to play it only worked partially and the next time after that it didn't help anything.
Trying to imitate past sucesses leads to mediocrity. Being spontaneous is what allows true creativity to flow. It's a constant battle to find the thing that will help you get to the place where you can play beyond your own capabillities. Once you've been there nothing compares. I feel like was learning at such a fast rate but then I tried to continue doing the samethings and the rate of learning went away.
There is no silver bullet! WHY IS THERE NO MAGIC BULLET?! Why does it have to be so hard? The hardest foe you will ever meet is person you see in the mirror each morning. I wish this was easy but it's not. I know that God's grace will come and save me... but I don't know when. The night is darkest just before the dawn. I know good things are coming. I know I can change. I've been saved and spared time and time again. The Lord is my light and why should I fear? All things are possible with God. This is just a bump in the road. And if you're going fast enough and the bump is big enough for a little while you can fly! One day I'll be able to fly whenever I want but for now it's gonna take hard times to get me up in the air. Just gotta Keep moving forward.
Yesterday I got to host the new missionaries. One of the four I picked up from the curb is from Herriman. His name is Elder Jones. His dad asked where I was going and I told him "Sydney, Australia." They all freaked out and said, "That's where he's going!! What language?" "Spanish" "Him too!" Pretty crazy! He's in the advanced class because his dad was a mission president in Chile and he learned Spanish there. So he'll only be here (MTC) two weeks which means we'll probably be flying down together!! Pretty crazy! His mom said, "There's your first teder mercy!" They were very emotional because this was their youngest son, so it was a pretty big deal! He's gonna be an amazing missionary!
So later today I should get my travel plans. I'm gonna save a little time for later so I can tell you whatever it is I find out!
I love you all! I'll be praying for all of you family and friends. I love my evening prayers when I get to ask God to bless those that I love! I love you all so very much! I love God most of all! He is my strength and my salvation!
Elder Weiss VI